3/16/2023 0 Comments Jibber jabber crmIm not sure whether im a extrovert or an introvert because i will walk into the office and ask everyone how they are because i do actually care. Glad I found this page, made sense to me personally! Reply I would really rather get to know some one on a deeper level and not base anything on a facade they create in a 15 min window. Turns out it was polite conversation with no substance, i actually avoid the person because why engage in something so blatantly unauthentic. I have engaged in conversations with people who I thought were genuinely offering to assist me in doing something and yet three years later I have yet to hear back. I honestly do not know a single one of them personally, except their name and relation to me and maybe what they do for a living. My favorite is the closing statement as you say good bye to everyone ‘we should get together more and not just at funerals and weddings’, haha ok I will wait for the phone to ring…oh i should call. 50 different people with how are you doing? Haven’t seen you in a while…and I watched as every one shared in their meaningless conversations, fake smiles that will hold until the next funeral or wedding. I thought a lot about it yesterday when I was at a funeral with family I had not seen in years. I would not be offended if someone asked me a invasive question I would answer it or I wouldn’t. Its not even about being uncomfortable for me its I don’t care, honestly with social media I pretty much know what everyone has been up to, so why rehash it. I think you hit it bang on, for me any way! I can engage in a conversation with a topic but hate the how are you doing? How is so and so crap! I can do it for a few exchanges and then I am done. Small talk can feel disconnecting when you are sooooo very bad at reading your audience and not tuning into their needs. Unlike my friends stories that only she laughs at. Because I think her topics involved me, and I could tune her out and my grandmother told some funny stories. My grandmother endlessly prattled but it did not drain me. But not an E, but have plenty of friends that are E’s. I am an infp (the I is 54%…the p is 55%) So close to an enfj. So I can talk but my talk is about how we are molding and creating our future and our now….I also talk on meditation and mindfulness. I am also a speaker and can speak for 5 hours straight with questions and answers and feel empowered. I can be quite good at small talk in short bursts. All irrelevant stuff to my life! After an hour with her I feel delated, and it is like nails on a chalkboard!!!!!! Energy drained. My friend, a sweet woman talks about, her cat, what her pets ate, how she cuts up her pets food, what they did, a neighbor that blah blah blah…. I too, do NOT see small talk as lacking in value! It is just the endless prattle that drains my brain. We indulge in it hoping that we will meet someone who hates this formality as much as we do. It can also help us network, make new friends and make a good first impression.įor introverts, it is one of those annoying hurdles we must cross to get to the good stuff. Sometimes small talk can provide a slippery surface to slide into deeper topics. It is a predictable exchange with predictable results. It is like a game of chess where both players always know each other’s next move. Instead of being light and fun, the conversation is flat and boring. The truth is that small talk allows two people to have an entire conversation without really getting to know each other. Consequently, authenticity dies on the vine. Likewise, any emotion besides happy or neutral is discouraged. Personal questions are considered inappropriate. Wikepedia even went so far as to describe it as a “social lubricant”, which makes it sound a whole lot more fun than it actually is. Unfortunately, our culture has deemed small talk a social necessity. We hate small talk because we hate the barrier it creates between people.” “Let’s clear one thing up: Introverts do not hate small talk because we dislike people. Laurie Helgoe, author of Introvert Power: Why Your Inner Life Is Your Hidden Strength, explains our sentiments well: Introverts recognize that small talk creates boundaries between people. They assume that we don’t like chit-chat because we don’t like people. They imagine us turning our noses up at something that goes to the core of our culture. Our distaste for small talk might cause some people to think we are socially inept or snobby.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |